Howdy. Nice to meet you, buddy. I think a virtual handshake is in order. Excuse the sweaty hands. Just to put this to rest before it becomes a thing, I can spell sarcasm. I’ll challenge you to use your brain and look at my name again. Well, it’s a little early to be getting passive aggressive but that’s just me, I guess. I am in a slightly bad mood as Spotify recommends either the He-Man song or dubstep. I just pray that I’ll never have to see a combination of the two as it could either be glorious or disastrous.
I’ve given up trying to become famous through blogging, twitter, streaming e.t.c. So I’ll just count this as a retirement project. I have had a very successful failure career to date so I wouldn’t want to tarnish that prestige. Anyway, I’m a young Irish lad who shouldn’t be blogging but is … Hmm, blogging doesn’t sit well with me. How about…? An internet diary? That could just be worse. Let’s say this is a digital memoir. Nobody in their right mind would want to read that. This is a covert operation to disguise my cringe, unfortunately. Or you could call it humour. I guess it resembles marmite. Of course, because it’s yellow and Australians can’t get enough of it … [The ‘either love it or you hate it’ was a bit cliche].
So, I simply intend to write and ramble. Tangents are inevitable. I won’t try and avoid them because if I think too hard it’s guaranteed that I won’t say anything. Maybe if I just talk myself up enough, somebody out there might believe it. I’m possibly the most TALENTED human being on the planet. Wow, I can feel my internet ego growing. Let’s try again. I is kind, I is smart, I is important. This is HELPing drastically. It’s sad how I’m proud of that pun! I’d say this already needs the blog equivalent of a Grammy. Ok, I see how this Introduction barely taught you anything about me so I’ll see myself out.
~Matt [p.s. there’ll be a lot of elipses]